I don't mean to nitpick, Tom, but is this really your plan?

1. Thanks to patrese1, fleshflutter, and shoofus for the glass hearts!

2. The uncanny rock candy mountain: 3 Musketeers Cherry: two conflicting reports from my tastebuds—(a) this is incredibly artificial and disgusting, and (b) this is engineered to be delicious and I want more. I didn't know that could actually happen.

3. Hazards of used books: you may turn a page and find a carefully cut-out amateur nude shot. I tore it up, but I still feel bad for the person!

4. Sing it, sister:

I live in South London, for God’s sake; the undead stalking the streets feels more real to me than some whimsical tale of an ageing New England academic seeking to reinvigorate his muse via the vagina of an impossibly beautiful, promising young student. Likewise I am tired of watching films where a man old enough to be my father romances a woman young enough to be my child: if I’m going to be fed a fantasy, I want it to bear some resemblance to mine; if that involves shirtless vampires, why is that bad?

5. That’s some cupcake. Okay, I also like the line “Mainstream society only finds cupcake feminism more palatable because it can lick off the icing and toss the rest.”